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hey there girl…!

OK so this is way to cool (and vulnerable) not to share…! It’s also an amazing example of how the universe works when you are open to healing and receiving help.

Gosh where to start! I started to develop some content to put on my Butterfly Heart Spiritual Healing Facebook page to open people up to the idea of what it means to connect with your inner child. Wow did I open up a can of worms for myself. I am going to be honest. Every single time that I have done an inner child healing there have been tears. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Emotions are not bad and neither are tears, they get a bad rap – will share my thoughts about that on another blog.

So a lot of the time I am guided by spirit when it comes to what to post and when so I was listening to guidance for one of the questions that you will see pop us this week if you’re over on the page. What did you love doing as a child? I love music so the times that my mum, dad and uncle would get together and have ‘jam sessions’ was my favourite. I grew up with a lot of music around me and I now of course love music. It made me remember a year 12 project that I was doing with a close friend. We decided our presentation to our class was going to be children’s storybook that we would read to the class about each other’s lives. My friend Mel had made me a really cool scrapbook that I had supplied photos and info about my life. This one picture stood out to me and it was a photo of me at two years old sitting on a chair next to my dad who was also playing his guitar. I loved this photo. I loved all the photos I have with my dad when I was little because it felt like that was the time that I was the closest to him. I decided to dig deeper and asked my guides when did it stop?

I was taken back to a time when I was about six years old and I found my dad sitting on the bed in the spare room slumped over sobbing. I remember giving him a hug and saying ‘what’s wrong dad?’ and he replied ‘Life is just hard sometimes’. I felt from his soul that he no longer wanted to get too close in case he got hurt again. I feel like this is where he started to choose to suppress his emotions rather than let them out and release them.

It was then I had a better understanding of my dad and why he has retreated but I also wondered if this was a belief that I took with me into my adulthood that life is just hard sometimes. If I really think about it, it’s probably one of the things that I have on repeat is oh it’s too hard, then I do what I think is hard and it’s really not.

So back to the scrapbook that my friend Mel made me, I tried looking everywhere for it as I am sure that I brought it back to Queensland with me. Couldn’t find it. I wanted it so that I could post the photo in my facebook posts this week. I rang mum and asked her to look in the box that I am pretty sure it was in. Mum was out and said she’d call me back once she’d had a look.

Before Christmas Mum and Dad came to visit. I had attempted on three or four occasions to spend time with just dad because it’s something we never do. After the fourth failed attempt I gave up. A few days later we (Mum, Dad my partner and I) were having a discussion about how fun it would be to learn how to play the guitar watching you tube videos. Dad decided that he would like to buy us a guitar for Christmas. My wounded inner child thought that Dad wanted to get the guitar for my partner. She had an adult tantrum and cried and I told mum to persuade dad not to buy us a guitar for Christmas. She went into a rage because if he bought an adult guitar my partner would be the only one that could use it because I wouldn’t be able to comfortable get my arm over the guitar well basically because I have boobs. (irrational I know). How am I supposed to learn guitar without even being able to hold onto it properly. Later when I calmed down I thought what an odd way to react to such a thoughtful present.

Side note (2016): Not sure how it came up in conversation but I said if anything ever happened to dad the only thing I wanted was his guitar.

Back to the present and mum calls me back and the first thing she said to me was ‘oh dad’s out getting the dents taken out of his guitar so that he can give it to you’. At that moment I started to cry. It was the overwhelming awe of timing and synchronicity of everything that happened that day in such a short space of time and then the realization that my dad in his own way was trying to rekindle our father daughter relationship.

So the things that I learnt from this whole experience are that I have developed a belief that things are too hard (when they really aren’t it’s just something I have been saying to myself in the background for a very long time and feel like this has been holding me back). I love when I take the time to do the healing for myself the information I am faced with is always so simple and I ALWAYS think how could I not see this before. The other thing I learnt is that my father loves me in his own way and is dealing with his own earthly experience and to always send love even in the moments of frustration.

Michelle xoxo

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Happy New Year xoxo

Its that time of year when we start to think about new years resolutions and what we want to achieve in the new year. Then we get so hard on ourselves for not achieving it. So how about I make you a deal. I won’t make any new years resolutions if you don’t.

What I really want to focus on right now is what makes me happy and doing more of that. It’s what I teach the young ones over at Butterfly Heart Workshops. I think if we can learn to create our own happiness then it’s a great foundation for everything else in our lives. Happiness doesn’t just come to us we have to take action to make things happen but also its a choice we make.

What takes you to your happy place?

I remember sitting at home and feeling really irritable and just felt like nothing was going right. The more things went wrong the more irritated I would get and I would find myself saying I just want to be happy. (There may have been a few expletives in there). So I wanted to create change in my life. So I sat at my table and mapped out my happiness project. I had this image of a huge pile of laundry in a pyramid shape and thought about all the crap that was annoying me. I used this metaphor of the laundry that the point of the pile would be one piece of clothing to fold up which to me sounded easy. So that first step I thought what’s the easiest thing that I can do right now to either help myself and would help to make things not feel so shit.

I wrote down a list that day of all the things that had been piling up like laundry and started with the smallest thing on the list to complete. I did it and it felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I felt great because I felt like I was being proactive in my life rather than sitting in this cycle of negativity that EVERYTHING was going wrong. I changed its direction. I took charge and chose to feel differently about my life. I wish I had those notes to show you because I feel like I should frame them and look at it when I feel overwhelmed.

I think this is what new years resolutions are like that we want to make some huge life change when really we just need to take that one small step. Then the next step and the next one and as long as we are heading in the direction of our dreams and goals those little steps are going to turn into one big life change.

So stop beating yourself up like I did and just take one step at a time.

You’ve got this lovely lady!

Michelle xxx

 

 

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i had the best date ever…!

i had the best date ever last friday as it still lingers in my mind…!

it was a spontaneous date and exactly what i needed to lift my energy.

what better day to share it with you than on international women’s day.

so my date was a bit shy and nervous and didn’t really know how she was going to feel, as it’s the first time she had taken me out on a date. first we went to the local deli to use the atm. as i explained to the lady behind the counter that i just needed to use the atm she pointed me in the direction of the machine. i confidently walked to the back of the store to collect my money to pay for my date’s dinner. as i walked out of the shop i could tell that the lady behind the counter disapprovingly looked at my worn thongs and above the knee shorts. they weren’t the most flattering shorts in the world where they accentuated my curvy hips and showed the cellulite above my knees. the lady behind the counter looked at my legs and frowned. while my date saw the look on my face in response she encouragingly told me that i was a beautiful person and those judgments didn’t matter because you are doing amazing things in the world and you are so lucky to have legs that work.

the date continued to go really well and it was calm, relaxed and comfortable. she knew exactly what it was that created the perfect date. across the road from the deli was a cute little food market. she knew that i loved the turkish gozleme and the salted caramel and nutella filled donuts. There was no judgement about the food I was eating but pleasure in knowing that it was my favourite. so that’s where we went. the man at the donut van must have seen the happy glow on my face as he softly joked with me and surprised me with an extra donut! it was like a message from the universe was telling me to enjoy it.

next stop was the beach where we put our feet in the lovely warm water. the weather was amazing with blue sky and sunshine for miles along the beach. as we sat there and meditated the silence was really comfortable. the meditation brought out the creativity in me. i sourced broken shells from the beach to decorate the mandala that i had drawn in the sand. feeling so proud of it we took a photo of it for instagram. it even included a butterfly shell, which is so fitting for butterfly heart and a symbol of the transformation that i could feel taking place within me.

we didn’t want the date to end, so with a spare donut to share we found a nice shady spot along the river to eat it. we sat there in silence contemplating the world. i knew then that i would be happy spending the rest of my life with this person. i knew from that day that she loved me and would support me and would always have my back.

that she was me!

self-love and self-care are the most rewarding things that you can give yourself. it opens up to a whole new level of abundance and attracting more love into your life. which is what has happened to me in the very short five days since i took myself on a date. so many beautiful things have happened and i have attracted new people into my life. i want this for you too. it’s you that you will be spending the rest of your life with so get to know you and the things that make you deliriously happy because you are worth it.

do something to show you that you love yourself and you are worth taking the time out for!

michelle

xxx

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goodbye 2016…! you’ve been challenging and fun… but it’s time to say goodbye!

Oh my beautiful blog and the beautiful people that receive it, how I have missed you…! I am going to be straight up with you all…! It all got too much for me…!

I was religiously sitting at my co-working desk on a Wednesday feeling motivated and accomplished thinking over the lessons I had learnt that week so that I could share with you all…. Which mind you I love…! Until each Wednesday I would be holding back the tears because what I had to share with you was still raw…! I was still healing and to talk about it kind of made me relive everything that I was going through…!

Each week I did write a few notes of what I had learnt and will be back on the blog writing about some lessons that I have learnt over the previous year, because there have definitely been a lot. Some lessons had resurfaced for me to learn all over again… and then some new lessons that have been challenging but rewarding! It has been a wild ride and never thought that I would be where I am right now as I write this…!

What I will tell you that I have learnt this year is that for the equally shit stuff that is going on in your life you can be sure that it will be balanced out with some pretty awesome stuff….! To add to that we go through the tough times so that we can strengthen our soul but so we can also teach others around us what we have learnt from going through our own challenges.

I know that from my experiences with being diagnosed with hashimoto’s (an auto-immune disease) and an underactive thyroid has lead me to amazing things like moving interstate to one of the most amazing places in our country and developing a beautiful workshop teaching girls and young women about self-love, self-esteem, mindfulness, power, gratitude and intention. See there’s that balance of shit and awesomeness.

The other thing that I have noticed about 2017 is that everyone is planning…! Planning to have a fabulous year, myself included!!! It will be time to get out of my own way and make shit happen…! Not that I didn’t get shit done this year but it was all clouded in self-doubt because I was doing lots of new things that I’d never done before…! Why do we do this to ourselves? I think we need the down and out times to make the good times awesome, which again is that balance of shit and awesome.

I went a little bit planner mad and covered my built in’s with butchers paper and sticky notes you can see that below! I bought Leonie Dawson’s My Shining Year workbooks, which I love and makes me think what I want to create in 2017 and also a beautiful diary called The Daily Dream Creator by Nikki at Bliss Inventive…! So I am covered now I just need to use them and take the action! I feel that 2017 is going to be a big year of action, growth and progress…! Bring it on!

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I can’t wait to be back and blogging each week and getting my words down to share with you all what I have learnt and hope that you all get something out of it. We are all in this journey together and if I can bring some clarity, hope and guidance to your world then that would make me a happy girl…!

Questions for ya:

I would love to hear what the biggest thing you have learnt in 2016!

Was it a good year or one that you are ready to say goodbye to?

Comment below beautiful butterfly…!

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i have a confession…

confession w white borderok so confession time….! i have reverted back to eating my emotions. they have been so overwhelming that i have been dulling them with bad food. it is all kinds of wrong…! at the time it feels great and free and then the guilt kicks in. i am an advocate of self-love and its benefits and this past week i came to the realization that i must hate myself a bit if i am going to consume a shit load of junk food just to avoid my emotions.

because i love you all i know i can feel comfortable in revealing this part of me. it’s something that i have been doing for as long as i can remember yet never really acknowledged it. i think it got worse when i did acknowledge it in myself. i used it as a coping mechanism and was justifying it and being ok with it. until i was sick of having food hangovers, (it’s real people) waking up with no energy and feeling shit with myself and feeling immensely guilty for feeding my body with garbage. it’s not good for your psyche and it increases anxiety.

emotions are a guide to how you are feeling, what needs to be released so you can let it go and create a space to fill it up with happiness and joy! there is no such thing as a negative or positive emotion. emotions are all energy. you can bury them all you like but they never go away until you acknowledge them. so me stuffing them down with food was only doing a disservice to me and the emotions were only going to come back in an explosion or me having a melt down. neither of which i wanted.

so this week i decided to go back to what i had learnt previously so that i could turn things around again. to release my emotions, get healthy by eating foods that nourish my body mind and soul and exercising and wait for the barrage of emotions that i know are coming. it’s ok i am

something that i have not wished to acknowledge fully is that i completely turned my life upside down, left the comforts of my beautiful unit and the space / sanctuary that i had created, my amazing friends and family, a job i was passionate about and had a steady income and great pay. which are things that i miss greatly and not acknowledging it. this is what i have been pushing down.

on the flip-side, there is a bigger dream at play. i moved to be by the beach in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, to meet other like minded and spiritual people and to find my soul family, to be an example of trusting in the universe so much that i knew it would support me, to have the space to create a business where i only answered to me and the universe and have it centered around the skills i knew i possessed but were never acknowledged in previous roles and was based on my passion for empowering children and young people.

it’s happening… while i have been thrown out in the deep end which is where i perform best (because i have to so i don’t drown) i realize i am a great swimmer and i always get myself back to the safety of the shore. the shore is in sight my friends…!

i just want you to know and i am sure that i have mentioned it before but the universe is quite amazing and it’s fun to play with it plays back…! it loves you so much it wants the best for you. never be afraid to ask for what you want, it might not come the way you were expecting or in the timing you want but it will be the most amazing thing, at exactly the right time for the right reasons. you will see it when you believe it.

would you love to receive a free meal planner, food diary, exercise planner and measurements log that got me back on track to loving myself again?

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let it go… let it go…!

emotions

this week has been about acknowledging my emotions and the affect they have on my body and the world around me.

i have been so focused on developing programs and resources that i had not really been checking in with myself and how i am feeling.

 what i did know that i was feeling quite stressed but not really sitting with the why and what i could actually be doing about it to help myself relax and go with the flow of life again.

what i have learnt from being diagnosed with hashimoto’s disease is that it is quite related to my emotions. i know when i need to release them because i get a build up of energy in my neck (where my thyroid is) and in my head where it feels like it’s in a fishbowl filled with water. considering emotions are related to water i think this is an awesome analogy.

i am one of those people that used to go, go, go with everything that i wanted to achieve and would neglect myself. something would happen to trigger me and i would explode in an emotional outrage and left me feeling sorry for the person that was in the way when it happened. i personally don’t want to wait until something is either triggered and i lose my shit.

over the years i have learnt about emotional integrity. it is where you learn to be responsible for your own emotions. they are yours and believe it or not we have the power to choose how we feel. people and experiences will come into your life to show you what it is that you need to acknowledge. it’s here that you have to own that part of you.

the part in you, that is wounded and needs to be healed. experiences keep showing up until you heal what it is that needs to be healed. so in that moment, when someone pushes your buttons or they poke that sore part of you, are you going to react or respond?

if you are in your emotional integrity then you will respond. acknowledge the feelings that come up for you, look at why you want to react, feel where it is in your body and what emotion it might be.

ask yourself:

  • what is this emotion about?
  • how does it make you feel?
  • where have you seen this experience happen previously?
  • what can you do to change your experience so that you can heal and move on?
  • are you doing what you can to release your emotions?

here are four ways that you can release your emotions:

  • have a good cry (watch a sad movie if you don’t want to explain to others why your are crying, it’s an awesome cover)

  • do a work out

  • bathe or swim in salt water

  • meditate to move the emotions up and out of your body

releasing your emotions is like a de-clutter for your body. it creates more flow in your energy and creates space for you to replace those uncomfortable feelings with feelings of joy and happiness. it’s also great for attracting more abundance into your life.

 

 

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what are you waiting for…?

patience

patience, what is patience? it’s not something that i have ever been really good at. i was one of those kids that would count christmas down from the 26th december and think it would take forever to get to the next year. it can be quite torturous.

i guess it comes down to what our heads are telling us well actually the thoughts that we choose to think:

“oh it’s so far away!”

“i can’t wait that long”

“christmas is never going to get here”

“how many sleeps are there until christmas?”

 i think the biggest contributor to my impatience has been:

number one – the thoughts i choose and thinking i have to wait.

number two – when waiting becomes a habit and expecting things to just fall in your lap.

waiting for that dream job, waiting for that tall dark and handsome man to come and whisk you away, waiting to win x-lotto, waiting to win your dream holiday, waiting for miracles to happen.

 when you wait and wait and wait for things that just don’t show up it’s when you become impatient. it’s this feeling of it’s not here now, i don’t have it, i am never going to have it. we need to flip that shit on its head. it is your eternal birthright to have whatever it is you desire. it may not come in the form or look exactly what you think it’s going to but it is going to be the best possible outcome for you. that’s how the universe rolls.

ok so i am going to be honest with you… i stopped full-time work on wednesday 9th september 2015. i have had a few casual hours here and there but i have not worked full-time since that date. everybody’s dream right?

the universe has supported me to take a break; ok it’s not really a break. i don’t even know what it is but i have used the time to rest, to visit home, to have fun and meet new people, volunteer for fabulous events and conferences but also to build my business. i am truly grateful. it is what i wanted my life to look like, sort of…. the awesome part is i don’t have to work for someone else and i can choose my own hours! it is absolute bliss. not without its own trials but the universe has given me a massive gift. i trust that it i am here for a reason and it’s all going to work out how it is supposed to.

instead of looking at the situation like that i have been impatient. it’s not the nicest feeling! i slipped back into waiting. waiting for the universe to drop me this opportunity to just appear out of nowhere! i have learnt that building a business takes patience! you don’t come up with this one idea and then bam you are an overnight millionaire. it requires you to be taking action on your business every day! i have been working on my business since july 2014 and it is evolving all the time. it’s not yet making the big bucks or do i have full-time work from it (it’s not really what i want anyway), but it is a fabulous ride on my way to a freedom lifestyle. i am taking actions every day to get me closer to where i want to be.

here are five ways that you can overcome impatience:

  1. do something fun to keep my mind from going to that impatient place
  2. do something every day that gets you a step closer to the moment, experience, item you want to buy to make you feel like you are doing everything to make it happen
  3. change your thoughts to the affirmative like you already have or are experiencing what you want.
  4. visualise and feel that you have what it is that you are dreaming of like it is real
  5. know and trust with all your being that everything happens in its own time for the most awesome possible reason.
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last week i wanted happiness – this week i am manifesting happiness…!

i won face

what a fortnight! i apologise for missing last week. i was not feeling the greatest, but this week i am full of energy, feeling enthusiastic and have been learning about manifesting. there are big things that i want to attract into my life! J i mean really big things! i have learnt that art of manifesting money and new connections and friends and great experiences. so it has taught me to open it up and ask for the really big things!!! i deserve it so why not! when you ask for big things it is a way of pushing out of your comfort zone. you will realize that a whole heap of new things to deal with come up. when you believe what it is that you are creating it becomes real! like really real! you feel the emotions as if you are in it, your mind goes to that place that what you have created and it is already here!

part of creating this abundance and manifesting is to de-clutter! clear out everything you don’t need! let the energy flow in bringing beautiful gifts with it. when we create that space then the universe works to deliver awesome things into that space. when i found this thing that i really wanted it kicked my manifesting into gear. i realized all the reasons why i wanted this thing and what it would mean for me! it made it even more motivating for me to create it. so cleaning, making my bed, throwing things out and organizing my work and personal life to create an easy flow became pleasurable! it became for a bigger cause!

i was watching a wayne dyer video the other day and he was telling the story about a clay pot and what makes it a clay pot. the pot being made of clay and put in the kiln to fuse the pieces together to make it a vessel that holds things. it creates the space to be filled. but if you were to smash the clay pot the pieces are all still there but in a different form but no longer hold that space to be filled. this resonated with me a lot and made me think about what my vessel was holding, my vessel being my body. what it was holding onto energetically?

i recently purchased sarah prout’s ancient ritual of manifesting. i think it is great and it’s not something that i have been taught before and it is really simple. it definitely makes you committed to manifesting what it is you want. while doing this ritual it brought up all the things that i hadn’t yet dealt with. the things that i needed to energetically release. it has been like a purging but in a great way because i know that i am emptying my vessel of old garbage for new and fabulous things to enter.

it brought me back to loving myself. with the abundance that i create for myself i want to share it with my friends and family. i want to spread that goodness. i want to bring them with me on this awesome happy ride! i want to be an example that great things can happen when you change your mind set. come and join me in making your dreams come true!

so here are my eight tips for manifesting:

  1. De-clutter EVERYTHING – kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, lounge room. Only keep the things that you absolutely love!!! Get rid of everything else! If you haven’t used it in 6 months give it away or throw it out. If you really miss it that much you will attract another one into your life.
  2. De-clutter your negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.
  3. Do some forgiveness work. Cut your energetic attachment to people and experiences that are holding you back.
  4. Figure out what it is that you REALLY want. Work out what REALLY excites you! Those things that you would do absolutely anything to have.
  5. Create a vision board with all those things that you really want!
  6. Do something that shows you are serious about what you want. If you want to go on a holiday to Egypt start taking steps towards it. Go get brochures from the travel agent, change your computer desktop image to photos of Egypt, set up a money box to put your spare change in to go towards your holiday.
  7. Be grateful for the abundance that already is in your life and also the new things that you are manifesting!
  8. I purchased Sarah Prout’s Ancient Manifesting Ritual for a small amount of $9! It is worth it as it has some classic gold content and the ritual is awesome! It’s working for me!
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getting out of my own way + i want happiness damn it…!

happiness

it has been an interesting week! so after all that it feels like it has flown by and i am being constantly pushed out of my comfort zone. i have had so many messages of encouragement yet i haven’t fully taken the leap… there have been constant thoughts of what is wrong with me…! why can’t i just fucking do it! it’s not that there is anything wrong with me and i know i can do this stuff because i have done it before and been amazing at it. it is actually the fear of success. who would have thought there was such a thing? people work hard for success and have drive and motivation. i know deep down that i have all the abundance in the world waiting for me and in a way where i am able to help children, young people and women. so what’s stopping me? i have an awful freaking pattern of self-sabotage. i don’t allow myself to be happy because i slip into this pattern. now that i have acknowledged it i can move through it and use what tools i have to get me past it and into a happy and abundant mindset. one of the things that we all need to realize is that we are always constantly learning and moving through blocks. when we have a challenge it’s really how we work through it, we can let it consume us and beat is into unhappiness or we can do whatever it takes to keep our vibes up and be happy! there is no limit on how happy we can be! i choose love.

 

so here are my suggestions for getting out of my own way:

be gentle, patient and compassionate with myself

there will be a point that i will reach where i will have to decide to jump and hope that my wings work or i retreat into a rather uncomfortable comfort zone. (the latter is not my preferred option)

call upon my guides and angels to help me move forward and remove my fear of success.

at least do one small step towards my goal even if it scares me a little

eft about not settling for less

 

while it has been a challenging week it has also been really rewarding. there is always something to be grateful for! so i wanted to update you on one of the ways that i had stepped out of fear and into love was really focusing on doing things that i love doing. it puts you in a fabulous mindset and opens your energy to attract more fun things.

so here’s what happened in the last week that i manifested:

free yoga sessions for the month of february

a new friend to go see live music with

met lots of lovely ladies who are all in business

a super cheap gym membership with no joining fee or contract

my first mobile massage client and a healing gig for two young girls who fit perfectly into my happy girls are the prettiest

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moving out of fear + into love

overcoming fear white border

this week for me has been about returning to me. i have returned to my inner-self and acknowledging my thoughts and feelings about me. it has been a process of clearing anxiety, backing myself and knowing i’ve got some damn good skills.

i have been really hard on myself about what i should say and what i should do and not even recognizing the good things that i have achieved. it’s not much fun having an inner critic! i had been managing her well for a while there and now she has popped back up with a vengeance.

looking back on my working life i have never really given myself credit for what i have achieved or accomplished. at a young age i had scored some really great jobs without a university degree. which to this day still amazes me and i am super grateful as i have learnt so much from each position. all that time i never felt i was never good enough and didn’t know anything.

it got the point now that it paralysed me. i was gripped with fear…

now that i have all the time in the world to focus on my own business i have noticed it more than ever. i realized it’s time for me to back myself. the last year has been quite a struggle in getting out of my own head and dismissing the negative thoughts. with one step at a time i have stepped into myself again and who i am.

in numerology terms i am in a personal 9 year and a world 9 year, yup double whammy! 9 years are about releasing the old to make way for the new and it being a year of completion. it’s like starting a new slate in 2017 so it will be exciting what that year has in store for me!!!

here is what i did to step out of fear and into love:

kept saying to myself ‘just be me’ and ‘i’ve got this’

giving myself permission to do something i enjoy, it makes you feel good and get’s you out of your head

re-visiting what i love to do and realizing the love hasn’t gone anywhere – what is something you love to do but you haven’t done in a while?

using my mantra ‘i deeply and completely love and accept myself’

look back on how far you have come and celebrate the big and small achievements.