this weekend i had one of those weekends where the universe told me i needed to stop and have break. i had no money to do anything, which is pretty rare. i think it would have been the only way to make me stop and literally do nothing. i have had these weekends before and i am grateful for them. i am grateful that the universe has given me a big stop sign.
i have been doing so much managing my full time job which with some out of hours work that will continue until the end of june, having to rebuild my website and trying to keep sane by taking care of myself by relaxing and having time for me. i am really big on work life balance. while i know the position i am in now is to teach me to grow and learn new ways of doing things so that i can be the person i want to be and to achieve the things that i want to. it’s pushing me to use all the things that i have learnt in the last five years bring it all to this moment to test me. it’s not a horrible test. i think it shows me how much i have grown as a person and that makes me proud, grateful and happy.
i know it is so hard to slip back into the old habits when you have so much going on in your mind. i have had old triggers come up and have started to slip into those old habits. i have been working a lot on my mindfulness as i think it is the biggest key to change. when i hear those old thoughts of i am tired, i don’t have the energy to do that, and i think my thyroid symptoms are back. i take the higher ground, suck it up and dig deep. if i ignore all those thoughts and follow what i have learnt and do what is right for me to make me feel better to give myself the energy and care i need then it ensures there is no place for all those negative thoughts.
i have said before when your honor yourself and put energy into the areas you are willing to change then the universe conspires to help you. the biggest thing for me when i am tired is the last thing that i feel like doing is cooking. it is the first thing to go. which sends me into a horrible spiral of eating bad convenient food… i absolutely hate it. but… i decided that if i am going to succeed at this new lifestyle i am going to make things work for me.
i have been getting up early to prepare my lunch, cutting up vegetables so i can put them in the slow cooker to make soup. i have found out how nice it is that when i get home my tea is cooked. i had manifested this over a few weeks as i had thought frequently how nice would it be to come home and tea would be cooked for me! i made it happen. self-love at its best!
i believe that because i put energy into helping myself and making things easier for me that i was given a gift. my beautiful friend gave me her food processor as she got a new thermomix. omg…!!! as much as i’d love a thermomix too i am sooo grateful for the food processor. i don’t know how i lived without one for so long. i no longer have to take an extra half an hour to cut up vegetables, the food processor takes literally 3 seconds. it has inspired me to cook again. i swear i have a past life where there was a lack of food or something…. but that i am sure is another life lesson that i can talk about later.
with winter now here i think it is the perfect weather to give you permission to relax.